Four Hours
by Shadow over Egypt
Summary: Yami and Bakura just WON't get along, so Yugi and Ryou come up with a plan to make them. The two spirits are locked in a room, with no t.v, books, gameboys, items or sharp pointy things, together for four hours. What becomes of them?
1. Getting along

Shadow: Hi people! This is my second story and it's meant to be shorter than my first 'illusion' but (shrugs) i don't know. It was going to be a one- shot but (shrugs again) I had some ideas which needed a little more space to come out in....sooo...this is what you get. I tried writing for 'illusion...' but this rubbish came out...so hey! Enjoy! Please don't flame. Flamers are inarticulae bakas who can't write stories of their own.

Oh, yeah....I don't own Yu-gi-oh. If I did you'd all have something to worry about. (evil grin)

**Four hours **

**Chapter 1: Getting along**

"I won!"

"You cheated!"

"I don't cheat...unlike _some _people!"

"I don't cheat!"

"Yeah, right."

"I don't!"

"Liar."

"You're the liar!"

"Speak for yourself, _thief_."

"That's different."

"How? You steal, _cheat_ and _lie."_

Shut it, _pharoah_, or you might just find out some of my other tactics."

"I'd like to see you try."

Yugi groaned. "They're at it _again! _That's the last time we ever let those two duel! Don't they EVER get tired of fighting?"

His companion looked up from the book he was reading, "No, I don't think so." He said in a quiet voice.

Yugi sighed, "But really Ryou, why can't they just learn to get along? Those two get on with everyone.." Yugi paused and grinned.

Ryou smiled teasingly, "If you include blasting everything that _moves_ to the shadow realm... yes, you could say they get along with everyone. Well... everyone but each other..."

"Hmmm... I wonder how the toaster's getting on in the shadow realm..." Yugi mused.

"The TOASTER?!"

Yugi smirked in a totally un-Yugi-ish way. "Yup, the toaster. "Yami's culinary talents aren't what you'd call wonderful."

The albino laughed. "Poor toaster..."

"BAKA PHAROAH!" A voice yelled from the room next door.

Ryou let out a sigh and dropped the book he hed been trying to read. He glanced at Yugi."We'd better go rescue our yamis before they kill each other."

Yugi gave a defeated nod and climbed up from his seat on the floor. "Sometimes I wish they would kill each other. At least _then_ we'd get some peace and quiet."

Ryou laughed softly. "Come on. If we leave it any longer there will be blood on the carpet."

To emphasise his point a loud thump came from the adjoining room. "OW!" someone shrieked.

"I believe that was Bakura." Yugi stated.

"You think?"

* * *

"Okay you two..." Yugi said only to be interrupted

"He started it!" Bakura said.

Yami rolled his eyes. "Sooo mature, aren't we tomb robber? I seem to remember hearing that phrase last from a _five-year old._"

"Yeah, after you started a fight about whose dummy it was!" Bakura jibed.

Yami smirked. "That's true.We couldn't decide whether the dummy was yours or hers."

"Why you-!" Bakura yelled preparing to lunge at the other spirit.

"That's enough Bakura." Ryou said softly. Yami's smirk grew.

"And from you as well, Yami." added Yugi.

"Wha-? But I didn't-!"

"Enough."

Yami flinched. Yugi appeared to be sweet and docile, but when he used _that _tone of voice it was wiser to do as he said. He nodded meekly. Yugi directed his gaze at Bakura.

"FINE!" the spirit huffed.

Ryou smiled. "That's better."

There was a long silence.

"Well?" Bakura demanded.

"Welllll...." Yugi trailed off.

"Well what?" Yami asked.

"_Pharoah,_ they obviously called us here to either yell at us, preach or punish us! I'm waiting! I've got better things to do than just stand here!" ranted Bakura.

"You're right." Ryou's voice was quiet.

"Duh."

Yami's voice was cautious. "So what are you two going to do?"

"Nothing."

"Huh?" The spirits were stunned.

Yugi took a deep breath and began to speak. "You two fight like a cat and a dog. It's ridiculous! You _need _to learn to get along better..."

Bakura looked confused. "And?"

Ryou continued where Yugi left off. "So we-Yugi and I- decided this was how we'd punish you."

"By making us get along?"

"Exactly."

Yami frowned at his light in confusion. "Aibou, I'm still lost. How can you _make _Bakura and I get along?" He glanced at the thief and muttered, "It's impossible."

Yugi smiled in a way that reminded everyone in the room of Kaiba. "You'll see..." he said silkily.

* * *

"Noooooooooo!" Bakura howled. "You can't make me!"

"Aibou, no, please!" Yami pleaded.

"You can't do this to me!!! I have human rights!"

"Yuuuuuuggiiiiiii!" Yami begged. "I'll be good! Just please don't DO THIS TO ME!"

The hikari's shook their heads.

"Maybe this way you'll remember to be good all the time.." Yugi said.

Ryou glanced at his yami. "It's only for four hours."

"But it's four hours with HIM!" Bakura hollered, pointing at the pharoah.

"I'm not looking forward to it either!" Yami said coolly.

Ryou and Yugi had finally revealed what Bakura's and Yami's punishment was to be. The two spirits were to be locked inside a room together-with no t.v, books, gameboys, millenium items and sharp pointy things- for four hours. The darker halves were _not _thrilled with the idea.

Yugi shook his head, "Should have thought of that before you started the fight."

"But-" Bakura's reply was cut off as the door to the room was slammed shut. There was a click as the key turned in the lock. The yami's looked at each other. The four hours countdown had begun.

* * *

Shadow: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! .................OoooO. Random evil laugh. I've been around Bakura too much.....


	2. Four hours in counting or in the house t...

Shadow: OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! I GOT REVIEWS!!!! I LOVE YOU LOVELY PEOPLE!!!! (throws adorable plushies, chocolate cookies and giant bouquets of flowers at the wonderful reviewers) It's amazing how many reviews you can get in one night... THANKYOU! I can't believe you people actually _liked _my story. It was just some random thought that popped into my head. It's not even that _good._ Still, THANKYOU! It's soooo NICE, to be appreciated. 'Cos you've been soooo nice I'll answer questions you asked...

**Wolfbane2:** Ummm.... I don't _think _I'm going to kill them off... If I did I'd kinda lose the plot...slightly. I'll think about it though...

**Wildfire's flame: **Here you are then! I actually updated a story people want to read!

**Jade Cade: **Yup. I've definetely been around him too long. I beat him to death with a giant inflatable club in illusion... _baaad _influences. (shrugs)He hasn't shown up here..._yet._ Any ideas with what you want them to do..please tell! All contributions welcome. (but please write them in a review and not to my email address as I never check that very often!) Anyway, here's the next chappie!

**Demonsurfer: **This _was _going to be yaoi..but (shrugs) do people still want that? Review and tell me... Oh! Yeah. Thanks for the new toaster.

**Dark-Angel302: **You really like it THAT much?! Thanks. I don't usually do humour... I thought I was rubbish at it... I'm honoured to be on your favourites. You're my first ever reader to do that! (glares at all the other people that haven't done so.)

**Aramis-Chan: **Thanks. Here you are!

**Dark Mysteries: **Thankyou! I updated as fast as I could. I might not always update this fast though.

**Andromeda Island: **I can't believe you found it funny! I thought I was crap at humour... I can usually do sarcasm though..

**Ari: **Thanks. It's nice to feel wanted or at least have someone liking my fics.

**Yami's Copycat: **Cool name... I'll try to write more but (sighs) I have other stuff to do as well...(namely homework and coursework) Y' know I can't believe so many people thought this was funny... I thought it was...stupid. But, hey, if you like it...... I'm honoured and priveliged to be your first ever authoress who you've reviewed. Thankyou. It DOES mean a lot to me. I'm not _totally _crazy and insensitive. Thankyou very much for reviewing. (and for saying I was a good writer! huggles)

Sooo, those are my comments on that... I just want to warn you that I don't spellcheck as my computer is an evil and won't work on anything with spellcheck actually included in the program, so I'm sorry if I misspell words. It's all my computer's fault. Blame it.

Oh crap.....

BAKURA'S DESERTED ME! That means I have to say the disclaimer myself... Awww....

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-gi-oh! If I did the world would be doomed as we know it so there. (sticks tongue out at evil lawyer people)

And so....(dun DUN! (It's meant to sound like a trumpet...)) on with the looooong awaited fic!

**Four hours**

Ryou and Yugi had finally revealed what Bakura's and Yami's punishment was to be. The two spirits were to be locked inside a room together-with no t.v, books, gameboys, millenium items and sharp pointy things- for four hours. The darker halves were _not _thrilled with the idea.

Yugi shook his head, "Should have thought of that before you started the fight."

"But-" Bakura's reply was cut off as the door to the room was slammed shut. There was a click as the key turned in the lock. The yami's looked at each other. The four hours countdown had begun.

**Chapter 2: Four hours in counting or in the house that Jack built**

This is all your fault, baka pharoah." Bakura hissed turning on Yami.

"How's it _my _fault?!"

"You're the one who won the duel that started the arguement that got us told off that made the hikaris think of a punishment that lead to us-"

"- being in the house that Jack built."

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING ON ABOUT YOU DEMENTED HEDGEHOG?!"

"Jack's house." Yami smirked.

Bakura took a deep breath trying to steady his nerves. "And who the heck is JACK?!"

"The one who built a house..."

* * *

"AAAARGH!!!!!!!!! DIE YOU STUPID BAKAMOUNU!!!!"

Ryou frowned as he listened to Bakura shrieking at the top of his lungs at Yami. He looked at Yugi. "Do you think what we did was really that wise? Shouldn't we let them out and come up with another punishment?"

Yugi frowned thoughtfully and listened to the shrieks and yells issuing from the room where the spirits had been put. There was a short pause."Nah." he said.

Yami glanced critically at the room's other occupant. "You need to take anger management." He said smoothly.

Bakura glared at the former-ruler. "And you need to wipe that grin off your face before I _permenantely_ remove it." he growled.

Yami only smirked widely and sat down on the sofa that was in the room. "So..." he drawled.

"So what?!" Bakura looked even more pissed off than he had before.

Yami shrugged. "Just so..."

There was a long silence in the room. Bakura looked like he was going to kill someone and Yami looked as though he was going to fall asleep. Neither wanted to be the first to speak.

* * *

Yugi glanced at his companion sharply. "It's too quiet in there."

Ryou finished his book and looked at the smaller teen. "I beg your pardon?"

"It's too quiet in there." Yugi repeated. "Yami's NEVER this quiet... except when he's sleeping... and he definetely wouldn't sleep in the same room as Bakura. He'd be too afraid at having his throat slit while he slept."

Ryou nodded matter-of-factly. "Sadly those fears are well founded. Bakura probably _would _try to kill Yami. And, yes, you're right. It is too quiet. Maybe we should go-"

He was cut off by a yell coming from the spirit's temporary abode.

Yugi smiled and shrugged. "Well that solves the problem. They're okay as long as they're trying to kill each other loudly."

Ryou just laughed.

* * *

Bakura finally decided to stop glowering at the floor. It was getting boring staring at the same spot. And besides, it wasn't the floor's fault he felt so pissed off, it was Yami's. He should glare at Yami instead. So he did. Sadly, the full effects of the glare weren't doing much as it looked as if the pharoah was asleep...

ASLEEP?! Bakura grinned dementedly. It was payback time.

Bakura crept up to the sofa. He carefully leant over Yami and... Yami stood up and sent the thief king sprawling on the floor. Bakura let out a short cry as his butt hit the floor...hard.

Yami's smirk could be seen from a mile off. "Good boy Bakura. You've finally relised you have to bow down before your ruler.." There was a pregnant pause. "but you don't need to go _quite _so low." He gave a deep chuckle.

If looks could've killed, Yami would have been a pile of ash on the carpet.

Bakura's hate-filled glare was enough to halt armies-but when he glared at yami... Yami just laughed. "I'll never bow before _you." _Bakura hissed.

"Then i suggest you get up from the floor." Yami was still laughing. "In _that _position one could almost definetely believe you're _kneeling _before me."

Bakura's eyes narrowed as he picked himself up from the floor. "You'll pay someday, ahou."His voice was menacing.

"Y'know with that tone bakura, some people might get the idea you don't like me."

"Gee? You think?" Bakura's voice oozed sarcasm.

Yami didn't answer. Instead he walked over to the window of the room and looked out.

* * *

Bakura's mouth dropped open. Yami hadn't said anything! Yami ALWAYS said something cocky! It was expected of him! What was he meant to do now? Bakura had been planning on having a long, loud arguement with the pharoah but now that looked as if it had flown out of the window. He had nothing to do! Wait...

Yami had left his position at the window and was now rifiling in a cupboard that was built into one of the wallls of the room.

Bakura felt puzzled. "What're you doing now, hedgehog?" he asked bluntly.

There was no reply.

"I asked, what are you doing?" Bakura KNEW Yami had heard him.

Still; there was no reply.

The thief king stalked up to Yami and proceeded to yell in the other spirit's ear. "I ASKED WHAT YOU'RE DOING, YOU DEAF-"

The pharoah glanced at Bakura and replied cooly. "Getting these." He held up two Cadbury's dairy milk bars. "Would you like one?"

Bakura stared in shock. "Do ..I want...one?" he stuttered.

"Aa, you idoit. Do you want one?" Yami was getting impatient.

For a reply Bakura grabbed one, sat on the sofa, and proceeded to eat it.

"I take that as a yes.." The ruler sighed and flopped down beside the thief king. He slowly began to eat his chocolate bar.

When they'd finished the two spirits glance at each other.

Yami looked at his wristwatch. "Damn."

"What?"

"We've only been in here an hour..."

"Che. I thought it was longer."

There was an extremely long pause.

Bakura suddenly frowned. "Pharoah?"

"What?"

"Where does Jack live?"

* * *

Shadow: I'm done! So how's chapter 2? Do you like it? Y'know i'm thinking about writing a chapter in the toaster's point of view....

REVIEW!!!!

(I miss Bakura...sniff) I'll have to start singing Tuallulah...


	3. Three hours in counting or Bambi and the...

Shadow: Oooh. You're back? You must at least like _something _about this story if you made it _this _far... Yay! Sorry, I kinda ran outta plushies and cookies but i s'pose I could give you toffe popcorn... DOES ANYONE WANT TOFFE POPCORN? Well...I don't care whether you want it or not, you're getting it..HERE! (throws popcorn at readers and hits them in the eye. Loud curses, screams and yells follow) Ooooops.... here's to all those nice people who reviewed...(glances over shoulder to find reviewers giving her death glares because of the toffe popcorn incident) Oh dear...

**Wolfbane2:** Yes. Shut up. Pleeeease! I hate that rhyme! That's the reason I put it in because it's sooooooo annoying!!! Who cares who or what lives in Jack's house? Uh, I don't mean to be rude...after all, I am the stupid baka that wrote the crap _into _my fic. It's my own fault. (Note to self. Never write stupid poems that have no meanig or point into fanfiction EVER again.) Well... I updated... so here you are! (Is it that good that you have to COMMAND me to write it?)

**Dark Mysteries:** You definetely are a dark mystery! Maybe you should set up an account on It's fun. Thanks again for the compliments. I usually get told to shut up and stop being so cheeky... but my sarcasm and weird humour seems to work with this kind of fic... Umm..I'll try to update fast... if I am gonna update it'll probably be at the weekend. If not that it'll be Monday, Tuesday or Thursday. I have less to do then.

**immortal-6056: **Sheeesh. you reviewers get _really _sentimental. I've never had anyone cry over a toaster before. It was just a random idea I had... anyway, here's chapter 3!

**Krista123: **(shrugs) How should I know? The only Jack I know is 7, and he's a bit young to be building a house... If you send me to the shadow real for not updating how will you ever find out what other tortures I can put the yamis through? (evil smirk)

**Darkcharmgirl: **Hi! You're new, right? If you're not how come you didn't review me in chappie 1?! (pouts) You missed out on cookies! Thanks for the idea...I might use it. Oh, yeah..thanks for the compliments too...

**Demonsurfer: **OooooO. Rabid yaoi fangirl. I don't think anyone else wants yaoi though...sooo.... **DOES ANYONE WANT YAOI? REVIEW AND TELL ME! **There...oh..thanks for reviewing again, but please; lay off the sugar?

**Marble Angel:** You love it?! You must be crazy! Nobody in their right minds would like the crap I write... Thanks anyway. Keep reading! (How hypocritical am I?)

**Jade Cade: **Please can I borrow Marik then? I promise to be nice to him...(gives Jade adorable, kawaii, chibi eyes) Pretty please? I need someone to tort- play with... Please? (blinks cutely) Oh, yeah... I was gonna ask you something(s) (as well as borowing Marik(smirks)). I was reading your bio the other day...and I kinda wondered... where's Iowa? And you're definetely not the youngest person here... As I said...where's Iowa? I've never heard of it. Well; I _think _it's in America; but how would I know? My Geography's worse than my spelling. Now ask me where Newcastle is... Uh...anyway...ignore my demented ramblings there. (Gives Jade another kawaii- Yugi look) Please can I borrow Marik? I'm lonely without 'Kura..... (sniffs)

I don't own Yu-gi-oh! so leave me alone you perverted freaks who require me to say this stupid bloody thing at the beginning of every chapter, I want to be left alone so I can wallow in my grief about losing 'Kura... I need someone to chase with a rubber mallet!!! (wails)

* * *

**Four hours**

Yami looked at his wristwatch. "Damn."

"What?"

"We've only been in here an hour..."

"Che. I thought it was longer."

There was an extremely long pause.

Bakura suddenly frowned. "Pharoah?"

"What?"

"Where does Jack live?"

* * *

**Chapter 3: Three hours in counting or Bambi and the evil beepy thing of doom**

Yami gazed forlornly out of the window from his position on the cushioned ledge. It was a lovely day out there and there he was, stuck in a room, for another three hours, with a mental psyhcopath. Wasn't life unbelievabably fun?

The spirit turned away from the plesant view to survey his partner-in-punishment; Bakura. The 'great' thief king lay sprawled on the sofa, his arms tucked behind his head and his feet on the table in front of him, with a look of utter boredom on his features. The corner's of Yami's mouth lifted slightly. At least _he _wasn't the only one bored out of his skull... He yawned and returned to gazing out of the window.

* * *

"Yugi!" Ryou called. 

"What?" came the sleepy reply.

The albino grinned at his newly-awoken friend. "You've been asleep for half an hour. Are you really that tired?"

"You had to wake me up to ask me _that_?!" Yugi looked disgruntled. He yawned and stretched. "No, I'm not really that tired, but I am bored sick!"

Ryou looked at the other youth sympathetically. "So I am. Let's go to the shops and rent a movie. Walking there will stretch our legs and watching the movie will give us something to do. How does that sound?"

"Wonderful...if only I get get up.."

There was a small chortle as the white-haired youth went to help Yugi get up from the sofa where he had been sleeping.

* * *

Bakura idly twiddled with his fingers. Gods he was bored! It was so bloody quiet! The robber glanced at his royal companion. Yami was sat on the window ledge with one leg tucked under him and the other swinging down over the edge of the seat. The pharoah was staring out of the window, smiling faintly at some joke that only he could see and hear. 

Bakura bristled. He looked so damn smug! What was it about the hedgehog that rubbed him up completely the wrong way? They always got into fights, usually about nothing of any importance whatsoever. It was pointless. And yet... it was amusing.

"BAKURA!!! YAMI!!! WE'RE JUST GOING TO THE SHOPS FOR A WHILE!!! WE'LL BE BACK SOON, SO DON'T TRY ANYTHING!!!"

The yell cut through Bakura's thoughts like a knife and brought him back to reality with a bump. That wasn't the only thing that bumped though.Yami jumped at the shriek, promptly fell off the window ledge and landed in an ungainly heap on the floor. Bakura immediately cracked up laughing.

Yami glared. "If I were you,_thief,_ I shut my mouth before I start to reminecense about all the 'falls' you've taken."

Bakura shut up. Quickly.

"That's better." Yami smirked. "Respect your betters."

"I don't have any."

"In your deluded mind, maybe not. But in this world you're vastly outnumbered."

"And what would you know of this world, this time? You're no better than I am when it comes to our knowledge of this age!"

"Oh?"

Bakura knew Yami was setting him up for a fall, but for the life of him he couldn't work out what it was. "Yes, oh. We're both shamefully negligent to any information about this century!"

"Including evil, murderous mobile phones that beep at you?"

Bakura gulped.

"The very same mobile phone that you claimed was out to - now how did you put it? - come after you, brandishing a pointy stick that was going to kill you because it has murderous intent and didn't like you and you had only looked at it and it beeped and started attacking you for no reason whatsoever and pretty please couldn't dear, sweet, little Yugi go in there and kill it? After all it was in his house so he must know how to tame it because he was so nice and wouldn't let the 'evil beepy thingy of doom that hated you for no apparent reason' get him? That is the right mobile we're talking about, isn't it?"

Bakura became very interested in the pretty patterns on the wallpaper. Funny, wasn't it, how it went all swirly like that...

* * *

Yugi smiled at Ryou as they surveyed the choice of videos they could rent. "Let's try something new. We've already rented _Bambi _32 times. let's go for something less...." 

"Heart-breaking?"

Yugi shook his head.

"Terrifying?"

Another shake.

"Nightmarish?"

"Never mind. Let's just get _Bambi _again."

* * *

Bakura sighed. "I'm _bored_." he exclaimed petunantly. 

Yami shrugged his shoulders. "Amuse yourself then."

"Doing..?"

"Something, anything! I don't know!"

"Fine." There was an extremely long silence then...

"999,999,999 bottles of beer on the wall,

999,999,999 bottles of beer!

If one of those bottles should accidently fall,

How many bottles of beer on the wall?

999,999,998 bottles of beer on the wall,

999,99-"

"STOP SINGING THAT!"

"Okay."

"999,999,998 green bottles, sitting on the wall,

999,999,998 green bottles, sitting on the wall,

And if one if those gr-"

Yami turned to Bakura irritation showing plainly on his face. "If you do not stop singing, _right now,_ I will personally make you wish you had never been born!" he hissed.

"Touchy."

Silence reigned... but not for long.

...pop...

(A/N Put your finger in your mouth and pull it out again quick. It makes a pop noise. If you can't do that just think of Shrek 2 and donkey..)

...pop...

....pop....

...pop...

...pop....

"WILL YOU STOP IT YOU IMBECILE?! STOP POPPING!" Yami looked extremely pissed off. In fact Bakura didn't think he'd _ever _seen Yami this uptight.

"Okay. You could have just asked you know..."

Yami seethed.

Bakura shut up and began concentrenting hard on a patch of carpet. "I was only saying.." he mumbled.

"What was that?!" Yami growled.

"Nothing..." Bakura began praying that the hikari's would get home quickly. If they didn't... Bakura let the thought trail off. He didn't want to think about what would happen. Gods, remind him, _never _piss Yami off, _ever _again.

It wasn't good for his health.

* * *

Shadow: Fini! That was chapter 3! What did you think? Review please! All you need to do is click on that wonderfully situated blue button down there... it's not that hard! See you in chappie 4: the toaster's view on life... I'm only doing that 'cos I 've got reviwers who get _soppy _over _toasters..._ (evil grin) Maybe I'll add an oven too... Epic tales of the shadow-realmed toaster and oven... 


	4. The trials of a toaster

Shadow: Hi!!!!!!! I'm sooooooo happy now 'cos-

Marik: She's been eating sugar.

Shadow: Nooo, I'm happy because-

Marik: Nobody has told you to shut up recently?

Shadow: Well, that and-

Marik: You've been eating sugar.

Shadow: (wail) Stop it!!!! You're to be nice to me!!! Jade Cade said so!!! If you're naughty I'll set...ummm...I'll set...uh...SOMETHING ON YOU!!!

Marik: Wow. I'm petrified.

Shadow: (mutters) I _knew _I should've kept Bakura...

Marik: Aaww...poor Shadow....

Shadow: Sniff... Thankyou...

Marik: (huggles!) Tell you what, I'll answer the reviews...

Shadow: Hmmm...Okay.. but be nice! Bye! (skips off happily into the distance)

Marik: (grins evilly)

**Wildfire'a Flame: **Yup, the pharoah's touchy, it's a well known fact. Apart from that he's also smug, arrogant and bloody (beeeeeeeeeep!). So yeah... OooooO. Bakura and the pharoah...(smirks). There's a match made in hell.

**marble angel: **No, no evil beeping phones to disturb shadow while she's doing her..._important _(smirks again) work.

**Jade Cade: **Yes. Kawaii chibi eyes are soooo illegal. (Nods) The amount of times I've been suckered by Yugi and hi- umm... let's leave it at that, shall we? I'm being good, ask Shadow!!!

**Krista123: **You need mental help. See a doctor.

**Han Futsu; Anti Normal: **I'll talk to shadow about writing it...

**Dark Mysteries: **She updated! Be happy! Here's the address as promised:

**Demonsurfer: **I know that song! 'Kura taught me it!!!!! I only know the slightly different English version though. Eew. Hairball.

**Wolfbane2: **Uh, right. (backs away)

**Faust IX:** Okay. Doing so.

**Titansfan545: **Riiight.

**BobGod: **As if shadow would do something like that! (blinks shiftily)

**Kitkat1978: **She updated, okay?

**Sirithiliel: **What about me?!

Okay, that's that...ano...what am I meant to say now?! AAARGH!!!! (Jumps as piece of paper miraculously pops into view in front of him.) Oh. Right. (Reads paper.) Say....the...disclaimer... Oh. Well I knew that...

Shadow doesn't own me, Yu-gi-oh! or anything else. Leave her alone and I won't come after you. There. Done.

Oh, right. Here's the next chapter...(It's sort of a side scrolling thingy. The real story's in the next chapter. This is all written in the toaster's POV-anything in _italics _is the toaster's memories.)

* * *

**Chapter 4: The trials of a toaster.**

Being a toaster isn't easy, you know. I't's a lot harder than it sounds. It isn't all just popping up nicely browned bread. It can be as hard as going into WW3 battlegrounds, especially when you live in the Mouto household... Let me tell you why...

* * *

_It was a Saturday morning, and all was still- nobody had woken up yet as it was only 8am. _

_Then- THUMP! THUMP-THUMP! THUMP-THUMP-THUMP!THUMP-THUMP! (Talk about baby elephants coming down the stairs...) They were awake._

_"Aibou, there's no toast on the bench! There's only bread!" The one called Yami was yelling._

_A voice drifted down the stairs. "That's because you put the bread in the toaster to get toast, Yami!"_

_"Oh..."

* * *

_

_"You see,Yami? You've got to turn the toaster on, adjust the settings, put the bread in, pull down the handle and wait for the toast to pop up."_

_"And toast comes out?"_

_"Yes, and toast comes out."_

_"Cool."_

_The smaller youth smiled and shook his head. "Not really... It's just a toaster."_

_Yami smiled. "But it makes toast, Yugi! Isn't that wonderful?"_

_"Uh..yeah, it's...ano...great. Now I need to go. Are you sure you're going to be ok?"_

_There was a haughty sniff. " I can look after myself, aibou."_

_"Hmm...if there's any problems, you DO know how to work the telephone?"_

_"Yes."_

_"And you CAN remember my number?"_

_"Yuuuuuuugiiiii!" The taller teen sounded petulant._

_Yugi backed off hastily. "I was just checking! 'Kay? Well; gotta go. Bye!" And the little one was gone._

_From that moment, I knew I was doomed.

* * *

_

_Well, there I was, stuck in a house with a loony. And the loony I was stuck with didn't know how to work a common, run-of-the-mill toaster till that morning. Wonderful. Was it any wonder the average number of working toaster's in the country was rapidly decreasing? Especially when you combine the toaster's with mentally-challenged weirdos with gravity-defying hair that looks like sonic the hedgehog in multicolour? At least the crazy person was busy waching t.v....until he got hungry.

* * *

_

_Why, oh why, did he suddenly decide he was going to try out his new-found knowledge of how-to-work-a-toaster-that-hasn't-been-tested-yet? _(A/N the knowledge, the toaster's been tested..)

_Yami was muttering to himself. "Okay. Yugi said you adjust the settings, put the bread in and wait...There...done!"_

_The dumbo had forgotten to turn me on...So he waited..._

_And waited..._

_And waited..._

_And waited..._

_And waited..._

_And I didn't make toast. How could I if I wasn't even switched ON? It wasn't MY fault!_

_Finally, Yami realised something was wrong. So then he decided to pick me up and dangle me by the cord... like that would help. _

_When THAT didn't work he had the bright idea of jiggling me up and down. _

_Then, he started banging a wooden spoon of my side. What was I meant to do? Toaster's just DON'T function unless switched on. It's a rule of life. It says so in the instruction manual, guidebook, handbook, encyclopedia of toaster's, how to work a toaster and cooking for coach potatoes._

_Then, the teen tried swearing at me. Absoulutely fabulous. That's REALLY going to work. I think I heard traces of english, japanese, german, french, greek and egyptian. For a vertically-challenged freak he sure was pretty linguistic. _

_Still, I couldn't do anything. Yami looked extremely pissed off. There was a loud bang and all I saw was darkness....

* * *

_

Which is how I ended up here. Still don't know where I am - probably never will. Ah, that's life. At least I'm away from the two Mutou's. This realm seems to be quiet and doesn't make any demands of me. I'm not alone here though. There's plenty of friendly inhabitants. Why, just the other day I was talking to this nice girl in blue and pink. She had long blonde hair and a blue hat and staff. She was really nice. Think she said her name was Dark Girl...or something like that. She'll probably be along later, and we'll have a nice chat. Maybe she could introduce me to the neighbours...

* * *

Marik: Toaster's lead such interesting lives don't they? Oh, well. Review people so's Shadow will write chapter 6! So..

Shadow: WAIT!!!!! (runs up)

Marik:What now?

Shadow: I need to ask the nice reviwers something!

Marik: Ask then!

Shadow: It's about umm...yaoi. Due to um....public demand I'm going to include yaoi in the fic.

Yaoi fans: Yay!!!!!!!

Marik: SO?

Shadow: I neeed to know WHO the reviewers want yaoi WITH. So here's the candidates:

Bakura x Yami

Bakura x Ryou

Yami x Yugi

Yugi x Ryou

Malik x Marik

Malik x Bakura

Marik x Bakura

Please write your vote in your review! Thanks! Sorry for the short chappie but the next one will be longer!

Marik: _If _they review after this crap.....


	5. Two and a half hours in counting or I've...

Shadow: Here it is!!!!!! Finally!!! I had writer's block, so I'm sorry this took so long. Everyone give a big thankyou to an anyomous reviwer (I spelt that wrong, didn't I?) who calls themselves Cosmic-Wonder. Round of applause for Cosmic Wonder!!!!! (And adorable plushies( throws adorable plushies)) This clever person was the one who gave me the idea to continue this fic!!!! Your idea will turn up later....

Oh, yeah. I've read _all_ the votes and reviews and stuff and made my decision. I didn't make my choice on how many people voted; I made it on WHY they wanted yaoi, WHO wanted yaoi, and what works best for the story. (And the fact is... some people just don't like yaoi.) So, as I said, I made my choice. The yaoi will happen, next chapter.

Marik: Who's gonna do the yaoi?

Shadow: NOT Yami and Bakura.

Marik: Wha-?!!!!

Shadow: It's just TOO obvious, so sorry all the YY/YB fans out there! If you want I'll write another ficcy 'specially for you...

Marik: Tell her if you want one in your review...

Shadow: Anyhooo (That's meant to spelt wrong. It's just a random joke in my class. Ignore it unless you are of the chosen few. If you are, read and mock.), I am witing TWO yaoi couples into the fic.

Marik: Who are?

Shadow: Not telling. Work it out. And for my reviewers who DON'T want yaoi, I'm sorry. I will try to keep the yaoi as low as possible, or at leas extremely mild. NO LEMONS!!! (OR LIMES. (That was for all the smart asses out there.)

**Sirithiliel: **Uh-Oh. Never tell Marik he's awesome to his face. Not if you want to keep your sanity....

Marik: YayayayayayayaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayYAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (runs past screaming loudly)

Shadow: Or at least help preserve mine.....

**ShadowMoto: **That's what I'm planning on doing... SSSSSH!!!!! (But not everyone. I have ummm..._delicate_ reviewers.)

**Dark-Lady-Devinity: **I've decided NOT to use those two as my couple for the fic, it's just TOO obvious. I'm evil, I know. (Keep a close watch on my account, I'm busy writing a fic for all the darkshipping fans out there!)

**Dark Mysteries:** Damn computer!!!!! DIE!!!!! (whacks computer with handy rubber mallet. Computer starts making funny noises.) Oh dear...

Marik: (slightly calmer) Cool fic you wrote. Write MORE!!!!!!! (runs away giggling hystericallly)

Shadow: That's it, he gets no more sugar.

**Han Futsu; Anti Normal: **That is SO IT!!!! NO MORE REVIEW ON TOASTERS!!!!

**BobGod:** Riiiiiiiiight. Well that's definetely a new way of putting it. I've never had a toaster's POV be called 'magical' before.

**Moonlight-6056: **Thankyou! That's very nice of you. Yes, appliances have feelings. My evil computer (hereafter known as Satan) knows this... and knows this well. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!

Marik: (mutters) And she told ME to leave off the sugar....

**Dark-Angel302:** Yes, it's odd. It's weird. It's stupid. THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TELLING YOU PEOPLE FROM THE STAAAAAAAAAAART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CAN'T WRITE!!!!! (sniff) No, no R/B this ficcy. I hath madeth uppeth my mind! (voice of doooooom)

**Jade Cade: **Yes, he's behaving. (smug grin from the afore mentioned) Keep guessing for the couples...

**Wildfire's Flame: **Mmm... I liked that line too. It's one of my favs.

**Crystal Phoenix: **Sorry, no.

**Minako261: **Sorry, I'll keep it as mild as possible, ok? (gives Minako big hug) Try reading my other fic, 'With the wave of the wand' it's yaoi-proof.

**Demonsurfer: **Yami's not the only one with no culinary talents...

**Cosmic Wonder: **So there Marik!! (sticks out tongue) IT IS GOOD!! THEY SAID SO!!!

Marik: Fine.... (big huff)

Shadow: Maybe I WILL use that idea....(later chapters, perhaps? Or another fic?)

**Foreign-Newbie: **Sorry, no YY/YB. Ummm...you made a little mistake in your review...

Marik: LITTLE?! (hysterical laughter)

Shadow: (glares) I'M NOT AMERICAN!!! I LIVE NOWHERE NEAR AMERICA!!!! I AM BRITISH!!! I LIVE IN ENGLAND!!

Marik: Hail Brittania...

Shadow: Shut it, you. OK? Sorry, I just get a tad touchy when people mess it up. Don't get me wrong, America's fine. I just prefer England. It's my home and I was born there and I live there. And besides, I wouldn't leave Newcastle FOR ANYTHING!!! (Except a two week all inclusive.)

**Kayrie: **Thanks, that's nice of you. I'm sorry, but majority won here. I can't please everyone. This story WILL have yaoi, but I'm going to keep it EXTREMELY low profile.

**Krista123: **

Marik: (mutters)

Shadow: (waves hand at Marik) SSSSHHHHH!!!!! Be nice!!!! Uh, sorry? Ignore him. To be polite I refuse to repeat what he just said soo...Umm...what's Excellance class? I've never heard of it. I don't think they have that here in little 'ole England........................BORGY??????!!!! Sheesh....a mutant rubber...what will I have after me next???!!!

Marik: A chicken?

Shadow: (gives marik an EXTREMELY weird look)

Shadow:So there you are, my comments. Y'know I think I'm getting more reviewers as this story goes Oh, yeah...here are some notes for the following chapter:

**Notes: (IMPORTANT!!!!)**

**Okay, it concerns Marik and Malik. In different stories they are known by different names, so it can get confusing. This is what I call them; and I don't care if it's wrong. This is just to let you know who the hell I'm talking about:**

**Marik Ischitar- Marik**

**Yami Marik- Malik**

**There. You can stop paying attention now, if you want to, and skip to the story... The rest's just the usual mindless babble and disclaimer.**

Marik!!!

Marik: What now?

Shadow: DIS. CLAIM. ER!

Marik: Oh, righhhht. Shadow over egypt does not own yu-gi-oh in any way, form or publication. She does not own me, a brain or imagination. The only thing she owns is this plot.

Shadow: (completely oblivious) Yeah!

wait....

**MARIK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* * *

**

**Four hours**

"What was that?!" Yami growled.

"Nothing..." Bakura began praying that the hikari's would get home quickly. If they didn't... Bakura let the thought trail off. He didn't want to think about what would happen. Gods, remind him, _never _piss Yami off, _ever _again.

It wasn't good for his health.

* * *

**Chapter 5: Two and a half hours in counting or I've had enough of the royal huff!**

"Yugi?"

The small boy looked up from the video cover he'd been reading. "Yeah?"

Ryou smiled. "Can we stop off at the supermarket on the way back? I want to get some things. "

Yugi nodded. "Sure, why not?"

* * *

Bakura raised his head a fraction and glanced at Yami. Crap. He was still sulking. Not good. Not good at all. Being stuck in a room with the pharoah in his usual 'let's be nice' mood was MUCH better than being with the pharoah in THIS frame of mind. A 'let's kill the tomb robber if he so much as thinks about opening his mouth and speaking' frame, to be exact. Bakura sighed, and went back to gazing at the floor. Well, let him sulk. Surely he couldn't huff _that _long?

* * *

Silence was golden. Yami knew exactly why his tutor in Egypt had treasured that phrase so much;_now._ Bakura could be damn annoying when he chose to be! And he HAD chosen to be. Which was why he felt thoroughly bad-tempered. It was all the blasted Thief's fault. Let him be quiet for a change! Let him cower! He deserved it!!!

* * *

Ryou looked at the shelves in thought. "What shall we get?" He asked.

Yugi paused, then frowned. "How should I know? I'm worse at making decisions than you are!"

The albino grinned. "We have to get _something._ We've got to have something to eat during the film."

Yugi dropped the basket with a small clatter and went up to stand beside his friend. "Let's browse then." He giggled.

* * *

Bakura mentally groaned. DAMN SILENCE!!! MAY ALL THINGS QUIET BE DAMNED AND ROAST UNTIL ETERNITY IN HADES!!!

* * *

Yami felt himself beginnning to calm down. It was best to calm down, he mused. To keep all those feelings bottled up so long was bad for you. And besides, even though silence was golden, it could turn rusty if you left it too long. Silence was fine; but only in small portions. He'd speak in a little while, after all the tomb robber had to have the chance to calm down too.

* * *

"Malik! Just DROP the rubber chicken, okay?"

"NONONONONONONONONONONOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!IT'S MY RUBBER CHICKEN!!!GO AWAAAAAY!!!GET YOUR OWN CHICKEN!!!THIS ONE'S MIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" Malik howled like a five year old.

Marik felt himself beginning to turn red as people turned to stare at the strange site. After all, it wasn't every day you saw someone in black cape - looking like they'd come straight out of a Dracula movie - sitting in a tree cuddling a giant rubber chicken to their chest and howling like a little child.

"Malik! Get down from the tree, NOW!!!" He hissed, cheeks burning red.

Malik pouted and shook his head. "No." He yelled defientely.

Marik didn't want to do this, but it was the only way. "MALIK! GET DOWN FROM THERE, THIS INSTANT, OR I'M TELLING ISHIZU!!!"

His darker half visibly gulped. "Coming." He squeaked.

"Much better." His hikari purred. "Now, we'd best hurry and get to Yugi's house."

* * *

Bakura looked up again. Aaaaaawww. Still no change....wait! The pharoah didn't look so tense and wound up. Maybe he was beginning to cool down a bit. That was good. Sitting quietely was _boring.

* * *

_

Yami shifted in his seat. Sitting in the same place for half an hour could get a little uncomfortable. He uncrossed his arms from over his chest and straightened. The tomb robber almost fell over in relief. He'd calmed down! Yami smirked slightly. He hadn't been that bad, surely? A sudden pounding on the front door sent both spirits running to the window to see out.

Yami looked out. "What the hell are those two doing here?" he asked.

"Standing?" Came the sarcastic reply.

The withering glance he got was enough to shut Bakura up; quickly. He didn't want his most royal higness in yet _another_ huff. One royal huff a day was quite enough for anyone to cope with.

Yami said, almost absentmindedly, "We'd better let them know no-one's in who can answer the door..."

Bakura nodded his agreement and opened the window as wide as it would go - which was about two inches(as Yugi and Ryou hadn't wanted their darker halves to escape by jumping out the window, and from there to freedom) - and yelled. "'LO! MENTAL PHYCHOS! UP HERE!"

Malik grinned, recognising his friend's dulcet tones. "HI BAKA!!!" He shouted back.

Marik groaned and slapped his head. "Brilliant." He muttered. "Two yamis in the same building. Absoulutely bloody brilliant." he suddenly caught sight of Yami standing beside Bakura. "THREE YAMIS?!"

The three mentioned turned as one and saw their eygptian friend(and hikari (for Malik)). The reaction was predictable.

"Nice to see you too, Marik!" Bakura laughed.

Malik snorted and tried not to burst into fits of laughter at his light's face.

Yami just shook his head with a smile and disappeared away from the window.

Bakura leaned back from the window and was heard saying something in a low tone - too -low to make out - to who the two people on the ground could only assume must be Yami.

Malik didn't care. "BAKURA!" he hollered."WHY ARENT YOU ANSWERING THE DOOR? WE'RE NOT STANDING HERE FOR THE GOOD OF OUR HEALTH, YOU KNOW!"

Bakura grimaced. "Believe me," he said. "I'd answer it if I could."

Malik frowned. "What do you mean?"

There was a howl and a loud curse in ancient egyptian as Yami shoved Bakura away from the window and reclaimed his seat. "He meant what he said." The former ruler began. "He'd answer the door if he could, as would I. Do you think I'd deliberately run the risk of facing the wrath of my hikari just to spite you?"

Malik still didn't get it. "Why can't you answer the door?" he called.

The reply was quick, sharp, and devoid of any emotion. "Because we're locked in."

Marik frowned up at the window. "You're locked in? How?"

Bakura decided he wanted to reply, and had a short tussle with the pharoah as to who would have the window seat. Yami won. His smirk could be seen from the ground below. Bakura's curses could be heard easily as well. "Our hikaris locked us in." he called.

Marik clicked. "Another punishment?" he called out laughing. "What did you two do _this _time?"

Bakura's curses suddenly got a LOT louder. They were colourful enough to make even _Yami _blush, and he was used to hearing them.

Malik only smirked. "So how do we get in?"

"Go find Yugi and Ryou, I suppose." Yami called.

"And they are?"

"Out."

Marik frowned. "Yami, that isn't really helpful. WHERE are they?"

Yami shrugged but Bakura piped up. "I heard them say something about a film. If that's anything to go by then they're probably at the video store, or the supermarket. Anything beats standing around here waiting for them."

Marik and Malik nodded their agreement, waved goodbye, and left in the direction of the video store.

Yami stayed at the window, looking out thoughtfully.

"What is it, pharoah?" Bakura asked snidely.

"Do you think it was really that wise to send _those_ two off to the supermarket?"

* * *

Shadow: Sorry, this chappie isn't that funny....maybe the next will be better.

Marik: Hopefully.

Shadow: At least I don't have writer's block this time....


	6. Two hours in counting or Of Supermarkets...

Shadow: Lord you people are devoted....

Marik: Poor, sad, little things...

Shadow: (glares at the offender) They're NICE, unlike SOME people I could care to mention..

Marik: (sweatdrops)

Shadow: Sorry for taking so long to update. My teachers have suddenly all decided to be evil and give me a TON of homework - mostly projects and such-like - to do. It's not my fault I had to get them done, is it? Anyway, here's my comments...

**Dark-Lady-Devinity: **Live! LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVVVEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't wanna fill out paperwork 'cos you died!!!!!! LIIIIIVEEEEE!!!!

Marik: Since she's gone....weird... Yes, well, maybe the hikari's will forget about their yamis... We're not _quite _sure yet...

**Sirithiliel: **Well, Marik and Bakura are awesome...

Marik: YAYAYAYAYAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!!!!!!!

Shadow: (bonks him on head) SHUSH! Yes, they're off to the supermarket. Won't this be fun?

**metafire: **I UPDATED ALREADY!

**FireHawk038: **I'm going to. Don't tell though...

**Jade Cade: **You could have warned me... You are getting a little warmer...

**silver-dagger-113: **Is it really? Yay! I get a trophy!!!! (receives virtual trophy) That was THE quote of the week!!!

Marik: See the review as Shadow can't be bothered to type it out.

Shadow: (blushes) Finally, though...someone who ACTUALLY AGREES with me about the naming of those two. You can get really confused between them sometimes... And NO! There will be no YY/YB. Why? 'Cos I said so! It doesn't work with what I want to write. And besides, if I paired Bakura and Yami up, you'd all lose the main 'funny' parts of the story. I don't want FLUFF, I want HUMOUR. No smooching between those two. So there. (grins) Wow, that took a lot of saying.

**DominaDeNox: **Aaaaaw. Thankyou.

**Han Futsui; Anti Normal: **What does KUTGW mean?

**Ayako77: **Hmmm...those two... I'll think about it... but yes, I agree. They're an ADORABLE couple!!!

**Krista123: **Yes, lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and...

Marik: That's enough Shadow.

Shadow: ...of cursing. On Bakura's part anyway. Aren't they lovely? Y'know, I think I detect the slightest traces of sarcasm when you talk about my wonderful friend here...

Marik: (smug)

Shadow: (shakes head) A millenium toilet?! Coo... FEAR THE FLUSHING POWERS!!!!!!

Marik: AAAAARGGHHHH!!!!! (runs and hides from the giant gold millenium toilet which has suddenly appeared from nowhere and started chasing him around the room flushing menacingly)

Shadow: Maths is boring whatever you do to it. I don't blame you for coming up with Borgy. I do excatly the same sort of thing in my 'Excellance' (Or my school's English version of the American equivalent) class. I came up with Bongo ballpoint and Pepi pencil. (Peh-Peeeee.That was with my friends influence. Myself I hate the name Pepi) They have wonderful adventures around the classroom and meet dronkeys and weird...umm thingies from my classmates imagination....

Marik: (stops for a minute while the toilet is sitting in the distance) Don't ask... (races off again as the toilet resumes flushing onslaught) AAAARGH!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

Shadow: (looks thoughtful) Y'know? I'm beginning to get worried about him.

**Moonlight-6056: **OooooO. My story's twisty now. Coooool! Yes, the people at the supermarket have my deepest sympathy too...

**yaoilover13: **Oo. You have _strange _ideas... (smirks evilly) Good ideas though...

**marble angel: **Uh...dizzy... I see pretty lights...

Marik: Uh-oh. Shadow dizzy is _not_ good. No more dancing! Byeeeeeeee!!! (return of afore mentioned flushing toilet)

Shadow: Yes, I live in England. Go me!!! England's cool. What's so great about the accents though? I speak fluent geordie, and as friendly and annnoying as it is, what's so fabulous that someone from america loves it so much? People in England aren't all posh-speaking, tea-drinking, intellectual people. That's just so, so, so _stereotype._ (See? I do listen in History lessons.) Doesn't matter. Thankyou for the trophy!

**Wildfire's Flame: **Thankyou. If I misspell anything else _noticeable,_ please tell me. It's a great help. Anyway, here's the update.

**Cosmic-Wonder: **Thankyou! And it's down to you that this ficcy is actually continuing! I couldn't think of anything, then I read your review, AND I HAD A PLOT BUNNY!!! Look what becomes of the poor darling... (cuddles plot bunny) I think I'll name her... Star. Don't like it, tough. We don't have somerfields up here in the north of England. At least I THINK we don't... Yeah, I agree with you about how all English people are classed. I'm not sure what people are like in London, as I have never been there (isn't that embarrasing? I've never been to my own country's capital!), but I sure know people in Newcastle speak slang. By the way, you _have_ heard of Newcastle upon tyne... HAVEN'T YOU? I WANT TO KNOW IF ANYONE'S HEARD OF WHERE I LIVE! If you haven't, shame on you, it's one of the top ten party capitals in the world and has a fab football team (according to my brother. I couldn't care less...)!

**Demonsurfer: **Candy! Yay!!!!

**Cosmic-Wonder: **You reviewed TWICE?!!! I have a talent for READING fics?

Umm...okaay...Yes, totally agreed. NOBODY SHALT DARE TO FLAME THIS FIC!!! (and they just said so.)

Shadow: So, those were my choice comments.

Marik: Fabulous.

Shadow: Now I will say the disclaimer 'cos I can't trust Marik to do it without insulting me.

Marik: (grins)

Shadow: I don't own yu-gi-oh! though it is on my christmas list, so if anyone wants to be really really reallly nice they can buy it for me and I will be eternally grateful to them and they can have Bongo and Pepi to love, adore and mutilate to their deranged little heart's content. Thankyou.

Marik: On with the fic!

* * *

**Four hours**

Marik frowned up at the window. "You're locked in? How?"

Bakura decided he wanted to reply, and had a short tussle with the pharoah as to who would have the window seat. Yami won. His smirk could be seen from the ground below. Bakura's curses could be heard easily as well. "Our hikaris locked us in." he called.

Marik clicked. "Another punishment?" he called out laughing. "What did you two do _this _time?"

Bakura's curses suddenly got a LOT louder. They were colourful enough to make even _Yami _blush, and he was used to hearing them.

Malik only smirked. "So how do we get in?"

"Go find Yugi and Ryou, I suppose." Yami called.

"And they are?"

"Out."

Marik frowned. "Yami, that isn't really helpful. WHERE are they?"

Yami shrugged but Bakura piped up. "I heard them say something about a film. If that's anything to go by then they're probably at the video store, or the supermarket. Anything beats standing around here waiting for them."

Marik and Malik nodded their agreement, waved goodbye, and left in the direction of the video store.

Yami stayed at the window, looking out thoughtfully.

"What is it, pharoah?" Bakura asked snidely.

"Do you think it was really that wise to send _those_ two off to the supermarket?"

* * *

**Chapter 6: Two hours in counting or Supermarkets and sleep**

"How the hell should I know?" Bakura growled.

Yami shrugged slightly. "You're friends with them."

"Aren't you?"

"We get on alright, but someone threatening to kill you and send you to the shadow realm for all eternity - not to mention stealing your power and exploiting it for their own purposes - can put you off someone."

There was a slight pause as Bakura's mind took this in. "Oh. Yeah, I suppose it can."

* * *

Marik frowned slightly as he walked along the street beside his darker half. Not that he'd admit it to anyone, but his yami was beginning to worry him. Just look at him now. Walking along a main street in town with silver spiky hair and a long swooshy **( A/N My new word!!!! SWOOSHY!!! YAY!!!) **cloak and murmuring to a limp, giant, rubber chicken that you're carrying; isn't very well... _normal._ Maybe it was the extra sugar in his diet. He'd have to alter the sugar intake of his yami and see how that affected him.

Malik nuzzled the rubber bird lovingly. "My lovely little chicky. Quack little chicky, quack."

Marik stared. Okay, change that. He'd have to STOP the sugar completely.

* * *

"Pringles?"

"No.."

"Marshmellows."

"Nah."

"Toffee popcorn?"

"No thanks."

Yugi sighed. "We're not getting very far, are we?"

Ryou shook his head and picked up a packet from a shelf. "Kit Kat cubes?"

"Nope..."

* * *

Yami yawned and stretched. **(A/N Drools...) **

"Tired, Pharoah?" Bakura asked, sneeringly.

The answer surprised him. "Yes, actually. I haven't been sleeping that well..." **(A/N Get your mind out of the gutter...)**

"Why?" The tomb-robber was curious now.

Yami blushed slightly. "Umm... nothing much..." **(A/N ...mine's already taken up permanent residence there!)**

Bakura grinned sadistically. "Oh? Then why are you so red, _Pharoah?_"

Yami's flush deepened tenfold. "I told you. It's nothing."

Bakura smirked. Just what was his sovereign hiding?

* * *

Marik tapped his dark on the shoulder. "Malik, we're here. You can stop talking to the chicken now. We need to go into the supermarket, and I doubt they'll let insane people in."

Malik frowned, his forehead wrinkling in thought. "What does that mean?"

"It means you don't talk to giant rubber chickens which you're busy cradling in your arms and calling a duck."

"Oh..."

* * *

"What about candy floss? You CAN'T have a problem with _candy floss."_

" _I _don't have a problem with candy floss."

"And what does _that _mean?"

"Nothing."

"It does! You implied something by that statement!"

"What was I implying then?"

"How should I know? _You're _the one who said it."

"So basically, you don't know."

"See! You admit it! You WERE implying something."

"I admitted nothing."

"Your denials only serve to make you sound more guilty."

"I'M NOT DENYING ANYTHING!"

"So you admit you said something?"

"YES, I SAID SOMETHING! BUT I WASN'T IMPLYING ANYTHING!"

"No need to shout. I only asked you if you liked candy floss."

Ryou smacked his head in frustration. "Let's just get it and go."

Yugi nodded, smirking to himself. It was amazing how quickly Ryou made up his mind when you got him annoyed...

* * *

"You're having nightmares?"

"No."

"You're remembering your past?"

"No."

"Confusing thoughts?"

"No."

"Planning new ways to save the world?"

"Bakura! Stop it with the bloody questions! I already told you, there's nothing wrong!

The King of Thieves smirked. "Yes there is."

Yami growled. "No, there isn't."

"Is."

"Isn't."

"Is."

"Isn't."

"Is."

"Isn't."

"Is."

"Isn't."

"Is."

"BAKURA! FOR RA'S SAKE! THERE. IS. NOTHING. _WRONG!"_

"There is."

"How the hell would _you_ know, of all people?"

"I believe you said yourself that you weren't sleeping well."

"I _SAID_ I wasn't sleeping well. I _DIDN'T _say something was wrong." Yami looked peeved.

"Well why aren't you sleeping then?"

"BAKURA!"

"Yes?"

* * *

Marik idly scanned the aisles, not paying attention to his other half, looking for Yugi and Ryou. It couldn't be THAT hard surely? How could you miss two boys that stood out that much? By themselves they'd stand out, but together it'd be like they were always under neon lights. How could you miss a pure albino and a kid with tri-coloured hair? Wait... wasn't that them? Over there, beside the sweets?

* * *

Malik frowned at his hikari. His chicken had been confiscated for '_safekeeping', _so he was bored. And now his lighter half wasn't paying attention to him. Supermarkets were_ boring._ Sure the sweet section was good, after all it had _sugar,_ but he wasn't allowed there. 'Specially after what had happened last time....

What HAD happened last time? He couldn't remember. He'd been eating a bag of marshmellows, he knew that, but what had happened after that he couldn't really remember. Everything was a haze, he could dazedly recall Marik yelling at him; moaning about some hole in a roof somewhere, but that was it.

Malik sulked. It wasn't HIS fault sugar was so tempting. It was soo nice and sweet and pleasant and it melted on your tongue and made everything so happy and great and- well, nothing could describe how wonderful it was. And now he was banned from it. His dear hikari had said, quite specifically, "No eating sugar between mealtimes!" He couldn't remember the rest of his light's speech, he'd usually just switch off after that. Oh well. That little memory lapse had taken up the grand total of five minutes. His hikari was still scanning the shelves, and he was still bored. Time to go amuse himself then...

* * *

Marik grinned suddenly. There they were! "Hey YUGI, RYOU! OVER HERE!" He yelled, completely ignoring the disapproving glares he got from passing shoppers.

The two afore mentioned duelists looked up to see their friend Marik waving at them from the other side of the supermarket. They both smiled, and waved back.

"Come over!" Yugi called back, grinning widely.

"Coming!" And Marik ran over to join his friends, completely forgetting about his now absent yami.

* * *

"What's so disturbing that the great Pharoah can't sleep?"

"I'm fine. I sleep at night."

Bakura arched his eyebrow. "Oh? Not according to what you just said."

"Ignore what I just said." Yami sounded annoyed.

"No."

"That's a change. Normally you'd be too happy to ignore me."

Bakura smirked. "True. But now I'm intrigued. You're hiding something... and I want to know what it is."

The only word that could be used to describe Yami's face was _'shit'.

* * *

_

Malik grinned as he opened his fourth bag of chocolate drops. These were _nice._ And, since his hikari wasn't here, he could have as many as he liked. This would be _fun.

* * *

_

Yugi smiled brightly at Marik. "Hi, what are you doing here?"

Marik smiled back. "We're looking for you two actually."

Yugi wrinkled his forehead. "Why?"

"We called in at your house but only your yami's were in. They couldn't let us in so we decided to come look for you."

Ryou frowned. "That I can undestand... but Marik, why did you just say '_we'?_ Who's we?"

The egyptian hikari frowned. "Malik and I."

Yugi paled slightly. "Ano, Marik?"

"Yes?"

Ryou answered for his friend. "Where's Malik?"

* * *

"Something wrong Pharoah?"

"No."

"Nothing at all?"

"Apart from the fact I want to kill you, no, nothing's wrong."

Bakura grinned. "Why?"

Yami asked, irritated, "Why what?"

"Why do you want to kill me?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Point taken."

* * *

Marik worridely scanned the shelves for the second time that day.

Yugi ran up to him. "See him anywhere?"

The other hikari shook his head. "Nope. Where CAN he be?"

Ryou suddenly appeared from around the corner of the aisle. "Uh, guys?" he called.

"Yeah?"

"I think I've found the missing yami." Ryou said slowly.

Yugi smiled enthusiatically. "That's good isn't it?"

Ryou nodded hesiatantly. "Well, I think so..."

Marik butted in. "What do you mean, you think so?"

The albino gave a weak smile. "You'd best come see."

* * *

Bakura flipped through a magazinne that had been left in the room idly. "So why can't you sleep?"

Yami groaned. "Not that again."

The other smirked. "Yes, this again. Why can't you sleep?"

"Why do _you _want to know?"

Bakura let the magazine slip onto his lap. "Common interest."

"I'm not common."

"All the more reason for me to be interested."

"I hate arguing with you."

Bakura's grin was feral. "Why? Afraid you might lose?"

The answer wiped the smirk of his face. "It gives me a headache."

* * *

Yugi, Ryou and Marik stared. Sure, they'd all seen Malik on a sugar high before, but this was something new.

This was a sugar _mountain._

The world as they knew it were doomed.

* * *

"Do you have nightmares?"

Yami tried to change the subject. "How do you think Malik, Marik and our hikaris are doing at the supermarket?"

Bakura laughed. "There won't BE a supermarket once those four are finished with it."

Yami sighed mentally in relief. Maybe Bakura had finished with the topic of him sleeping...

"Now, back to you. What..?"

Yami's groan cut him off.

* * *

Yugi's mouth was open in pure shock, Ryou's not far behind. Marik just groaned. His yami had been eating sugar. And lots of it. Last time that had happened there wasn't much of a supermarket left. Crap. And the sugar bill was enormous. He was going to be skint for _ages._

Malik was growling at a store assistant. "MY SUGAR!"

The store assistant looked flustered and a curious crowd was gathering. "Sir, you can't eat that without paying for it first. Please refrain form eating any more and come with me to the office." The young woman reached out to take the bag from the yami but had to pull her hand back so it wouldn't get bitten off. She let out a small scream.

Malik whipped his cloak around him and snarled menacingly. "GET AWAY! IT'S _MY_ SUGAR!"

"Please I-"

"IT'S _MY _SUGAR!"

The young assistant looked hopelessly lost. She hadn't been _trained_ to deal with this sort of thing. "S-s-ir." She stuttered. "P-p-le-a-se... c-c-om-e w-i-i-th m-m-e to the o-o-ffi-ce."

Marik took pity on the poor girl and stepped up to his darker half. "Malik." he said quietely.

Malik snapped and lunged at the crowd. The majority of the crowd squeaked and scarpered, trying to put as much distance as they could between themselves and the madman.

The egyptian hikari didn't give up. "Malik." He whispered.

The yami glared at him. "YOU'VE COME TO TAKE MY SUGAR! GET AWAY!!!"

Marik shook his head. "I haven't come to take your sugar Malik."

His darker half was immediately suspicious. "What DO you want then?"

Marik stepped closer to his yami. "I've come to give you this." He held out the rubber chicken.

"DUCKY!" Malik dropped the chocolate drops and clung to the giant chicken as if his life depended on it.

Yugi and Ryou smiled nervously at the store assistant.

"Umm... can we buy this?" Yugi asked, holding out the two bags of candy floss.

The girl was still shaking. "Yes, take it. Just go! And take him with you!" She yelled suddenly pointing at Malik. "He's a danger to the unsuspecting public! He should be locked up!"

Yugi gulped. "Err.. yes...umm... we'll be going now." And he bolted from the supermarket followed quickly by Ryou and Marik, who was tugging along his yami - who was cuddling his chicken and skipping along as if nothing had ever happened.

* * *

Yami gazed out of the window, ignoring the tomb robber.

"What's so interesting out there anyway?" Bakura asked, annoyed that Yami wasn't listening to him; again.

"The hikari's are back." The ruler said quietely.

Bakura stood beside the other egyptian and glanced curiously out at what Yami was looking at. "You're right. They look a little shaken."

Yami grinned. "Marik looks perfectly normal to me."

Bakura frowned, puzzled. "He looks absoulutely livid."

"As I said, perfectly normal."

The tomb robber grinned. "Y'know I think we're beginning to rub off on each other."

* * *

Shadow: There, I'm done!

Marik: That was a long chapter...

Shadow: Yup. Hope you liked it... Bye!

Marik: Review!!!


	7. One hour and three quarters in counting ...

Shadow: I'm really, really, really, really, really, really, _really_ sorry about taking so long to update. Truly I am. Why is it everything that can go wrong, WILL go wrong? Basically, to cut a long story short, I had a virus. This virus stopped me getting onto the internet….and if that wasn't bad enough, my power pack in the CPU died. Complete meltdown. Sooo…. Everyone out there who enjoys this crap has to say a very big thank you to the very nice computer-man who fixed this heap of junk, 'kay?

Marik: Hmmm…

Shadow: I've also had a large case of writer's block, not to mention a horrible cold/flu. I feel _awful. _Then, to my utmost dismay, this story went _serious_ on me! There was no more humour! It went all _icky _and _goey _and _heartfelt. _I had to delete _pages. _To make up for the grind, I've written a side story to this, 'Bakura and the beepy thing of doom'. If you're a loyal reader of this crap you'll know what _that's_ about.

Hey! I can answer those random reviews now!

Marik: Here we go…

**Cosmic Wonder:** I agree. No flaming allowed.

**Dark-Lady-Devinity: **Thankyou. I can rest easier now that I know your death isn't on my conscience. Honestly, I seem to have made a little plot hole. Yami's sleeping problems are a great mystery to all of us… (Ooops.)

**Demon surfer: **Gutter is bad! Hope you enjoyed your breakfast… what? Three months ago now?

**silver-dagger-113: **Thanks! Remind me never to go near you with a secret…. e_ver._

**Cosmic Wonder: **You don't have to answer _all _my questions. Most of them are mindless babble anyhow. Thanks though… sheesh… you review a lot don't you? Thanks again.

**egyptianprincess1691: **Well it's a little late…

**Sirithiliel: **Sorry for keeping you waiting then…

**Dark mysteries: **well here's chapter 7. I'll probably send you an email too.. just so you know.

**Nightmare: **Sos… no straight pairings… why does everyone love that stupid toaster so much?

**Moonlight-6056: **That bit kinda reflects me…. People are always saying I'm either evil, sarcastic, cynical, too intelligent for my own good or observant. (Shrugs.) You get used to it.

**Jade Cade: **I updated! (FINALLY!) Yeah, they're in your first review out of the three. (Smiles.) I never told you 'cos… well… y'know? I've forgotten.

**Padfootgirl126: **Done!

**Hershey-kiss: **I love that pairing too… but I'm saving it for something special. (Evil smirks.)

**Chinkeepdaughter126: **Done!

**Krista123: **I _warned _you about overdoing the sugar. It's not _good _for you. (Chibi sweatdrops.) Whoever armed you with a millennium toilet was out of their tree. Completely. As in cracked. Loopy. Bent. Twisted. Mad as a hatter. Cuckoo. Crazy. But... it suits you.

**DominaDeNox: **Sorry….

**TheShadyAssassin: **Tadaaa!

**Eye-Of-Misery: **Umm…ta?

**DominaDeNox: **Can I _please _still have the plushie? (Chibi kawaii eyes.)

**Ayako77:** I'm not going to put those two in! (Wails.) Don't kill me! I didn't do anything!

**Dark-angel302: **The comics fab! I love it. Really, I do. Here's the update!

Uh, I also have to warn you. This chapter has a fluffy alert. Beware of small cases of fluffiness. It's extra long too though, to make up for it.

Oh, and another warning. For some strange reason won't upload question marks, so i have to readd them on quickedit. If i miss some out, I apologise.

So now, without any further adieu, Four Hours….

Notes:

I don't know if what I've said can be done in this chapter CAN actually be done with the items used, or whether it can be done with ANY item. Sorry if it can't. I just needed a plausible way to get those two through.

* * *

**Four Hours **

****

"DUCKY!" Malik dropped the chocolate drops and clung to the giant chicken as if his life depended on it.

Yugi and Ryou smiled nervously at the store assistant.

"Umm... can we buy this?" Yugi asked, holding out the two bags of candy floss.

The girl was still shaking. "Yes, take it. Just go! And take him with you!" She yelled suddenly pointing at Malik. "He's a danger to the unsuspecting public! He should be locked up!"

Yugi gulped. "Err... yes...umm... we'll be going now." And he bolted from the supermarket followed quickly by Ryou and Marik, who was tugging along his yami - who was cuddling his chicken and skipping along as if nothing had ever happened.

Yami gazed out of the window, ignoring the tomb robber.

"What's so interesting out there anyway?" Bakura asked, annoyed that Yami wasn't listening to him; again.

"The hikari's are back." The ruler said quietly.

Bakura stood beside the other Egyptian and glanced curiously out at what Yami was looking at. "You're right. They look a little shaken."

Yami grinned. "Marik looks perfectly normal to me."

Bakura frowned, puzzled. "He looks absolutely livid."

"As I said, perfectly normal."

* * *

**Chapter 7: One hour and three quarters in counting or Cotton Candy Capers**

Yugi and Ryou looked at the sleeping forms of the two Egyptians.

"Are you sure this is such a good idea?" Yugi whispered.

"No. But it might teach Malik a lesson." Ryou whispered back.

"But what about poor Marik? He didn't do anything."

"He might be able to help control them."

"You think?"

"No, I hope."

"Oh dear."

* * *

"It's really quiet downstairs." Yami said thoughtfully.

"That's because we're not there." Bakura remarked.

"True, but it's not usually _this _quiet."

Bakura was silent for a few moments. "Perhaps, but our light's are watching a film, they're bound to be quiet. Our hikari's never _were_ that loud."

The pharaoh turned to look at his companion. "Do you really think Malik and Marik will be _that _quiet?"

"I - err...no."

"Exactly. They're up to something."

Little did Yami know, he was more right then he'd ever been before...

* * *

"How are we going to do this?" Yugi asked.

"Shadow Magic." Came the reply.

"Can we do it that well?"

"Well, we'll never learn if we don't try, will we?"

"But..."

"Are we going to do it or not?"

"I-well-yes, I suppose so." Yugi sounded reluctant.

"Good." Ryou went to the cupboard and pulled out his ring and Yugi's puzzle. "Here." He tossed the puzzle to his friend.

The small teen grabbed the golden item. "So... how are we going to do it without waking those two? And how will we stop our yami's from getting into the Shadow Realm while it's open?"

Ryou grinned. "We're not going to open the Shadow Realm in the room."

"We're not?"

"No. We're going to open the Shadow Realm here, borrow a few shadows, and wrap Marik and Malik in them."

Yugi frowned. "What will that do?"

"It'll allow them to pass through solid, inanimate objects." Ryou explained.

Yugi paused, blinked, then got it. "Like walls?"

"_Exactly_ like walls."

* * *

Yami heard a faint whisper in his head. He sat bolt upright in his chair.

Bakura noticed, and looked enquiringly at him. "What's up with you?"

"I heard a voice!"

The albino's tone was scathing. "That's because I just spoke, baka."

"No, in my head!"

"I always said you were crazy..."

"Through my mind link with Yugi!"

"So?" Bakura sounded nonchalant.

Yami looked at him, put out. "We're not meant to use our mind link while we're in here, or Shadow Magic."

"I know that... so?"

"Yugi wouldn't use the puzzle, because whenever at least one of us touches it we can both use our Shadow powers, and we can hear each other."

"So?" Bakura was deliberately trying not to sound interested.

"Are you really that dumb that you can't work it out?"

Bakura dropped the pretence. "No! Of course I can work it out!"

Yami smirked. "That's good. Now, do you want to know what was said?"

"You're going to tell me anyway."

"See? You _can_ be smart when you feel like it."

* * *

Yugi surveyed the now-shadow-cloaked Egyptians. "They're going to kill us."

Ryou tilted his head to one side. "Not if they kill each other first."

The tri-haired teen blinked. "That sounded... _serious." _

"That's because it was."

"Oooooh."

* * *

"THEY'RE GOING TO DO _WHAT!" _

Yami frowned. "I already told you."

"I know, but... _them_?"

"Yes."

"_THEM?" _

"Yes."

"_THEM!" _

"YES, THEM!"

"But..._why?" _

The pharaoh shrugged. "How should I know?"

Bakura groaned. "But...but. but they CAN'T!"

"They _can, _and they _will_."

* * *

"Here goes nothing." Ryou whispered. He used his ring's power to gently lift Marik off the floor, so he was levitating a metre above the ground.

Yugi nibbled his lower lip nervously. "Are you sure we should do this?" He asked worriedly.

"Yes."

The smaller duelist sighed. He timidly tapped into his puzzle's power and lifted Malik off the ground. "There."

His friend paused, and then grinned suddenly.

"What?"

The albino grinned wider. "We'll give them a bag of Candy Floss too." He carefully placed a bag of the pink stuff on Marik's stomach, so it was wrapped in the shadows encasing the teen. "They might not hate us so much."

Yugi shook his head. "I doubt it."

"Well, it's worth a try."

"_Anything_ is, if it means our yami's, Marik and Malik aren't baying for our blood."

"Enough talk. Let's send 'em in."

There was a pause.

"Do you know how corny that sounded?"

* * *

Yami listened to the soft voices reverberating around in his head. He looked up at Bakura. "They're coming."

The albino groaned. "Remind me to kill Ryou when we get out of here."

Suddenly, two soft black shadows appeared on the wall. The shadows twisted themselves into the shapes of two pairs of feet... which were followed by two pairs of legs... then two stomachs... then two chests and arms (one of the arms seemed to be clutching a bag of something pink)... then, eventually... two heads. The sleeping forms of Malik and Marik were now completely through the wall and hovering about eight inches above the floor. Bakura and Yami stared.

The shadows wrapping the two levitating Egyptians suddenly disappeared... leaving the two teens stranded in the air... but not for long. Gravity _literally _brought them back earth with a bump. All hell instantly broke loose.

* * *

Ryou grinned outside in the corridor.

Yugi cocked his head to one side and studied his friend thoughtfully. "I think you've been around Bakura too long."

Ryou smirked. "It's not _my_ fault reality was made this way."

Yugi blinked, puzzled.

A teasing gleam entered the albino's eyes. "After all, what goes up must come down."

Yugi grinned and shook his head, laughing.

Ryou smiled, and the two teens headed back to the living room to watch their film.

* * *

"How the hell did we get here!" Marik demanded, eyes damning.

Malik looked hurt. "Where's my chicken!"

Bakura held up his hands, frantically making peace signals. "Hey, it's not our fault! If you want someone to blame see Yugi and Ryou! They're the ones behind this!"

Marik growled and Malik pouted.

"I'm glad I'm not Yugi or Ryou right now." Yami muttered.

For once, Bakura agreed. Those two were as good as dead.

* * *

Bakura watched Marik pace the room for the twenty-third time. The albino didn't really want to disturb his friend while he was doing something other than shouting at him, but Marik's pacing was beginning to make him dizzy. "Uh, Marik?" he asked timidly.

"What!" The Egyptian snapped.

Bakura smiled gently at the frustrated teen. "I-well...Marik if you keep doing that, you're going to wear out a circle in the carpet."

"Oh...sorry." The silver-haired youth flopped down beside Bakura on the sofa with a small sigh. "It's just..." he trailed off.

"I understand."

"But, I... it's not fair!"

"Life never is." The cool reply came from Yami, who had retaken his position on the window ledge. The former ruler looked at them calmly with his large crimson eyes for a few moments, then looked out the window again.

Marik stared thoughtfully at the pharaoh's back. He turned to Bakura again. "Has he been like this all the time you've been in here?"

"Like what?" Malik flung himself over onto the sofa and roughly barged in, so he was sitting in-between the two conversing teens.

Marik frowned annoyed at his yami. "Never you mind. _Shift_."

His darker half shook his head obstinately. "Not until you tell me what you were talking about."

"Malik, no!"

"Why not?" Malik whined.

"I don't want to! It was a private matter between me and Bakura!"

"So? I'm you! Why can't you tell me? I'm meant to be your other half, the one you trust!"

"I can't even trust you with a bag of sugar!"

Bakura shook his white bangs and got up from where he was sitting. And they were off. Knowing those two, they'd argue until the cows came home... or at least for a good half hour.

A wry tone met him as he was going to sit on the floor behind the couch. "Giving up?"

So his all-royal-mightiness was paying attention to what was happening again. Wonderful. Bakura didn't really feel like arguing so... "Can you blame me?"

To the albino's total and utter surprise, his response was met with an amused laugh. "No, I can't really. I'd do exactly the same thing in your position. Not that I'd be stupid enough to get into that position..." Yami's eyes gleamed wickedly.

Okaaaaaaaaaaay. Bakura had just exchanged words with the pharaoh, and it had bordered on being civil. Oh dear. Bakura grabbed a cushion from behind his two still-arguing friends, sat down, and held the cushion protectively over his head.

There was the soft rustle of material moving, and Yami was kneeling on the floor beside the albino. The pharaoh raised the edge of the cushion and looked at the other. "What in Ra's name are you doing?" He asked bemusedly.

"Defending myself." Was the answer.

"From?" Yami's deep crimson eyes were puzzled. Bakura stared into them. They weren't red exactly... more a very soft, deep purple... swirled with touches of pinky-red... The albino suddenly realised what he was doing, flushed, and replied. "The Apocalypse."

A look of total confusion settled on the pharaoh's face. He gave up kneeling and sat down beside Bakura. "Bakura... why?"

"We actually had what could be considered as a normal conversation… need I say more?"

"Good point... again."

* * *

"Nooo!" Yugi howled and buried his face in a cushion. "She can't die! Those horrible, _horrible _people! How could they kill her?"

Ryou thoughtfully regarded his fried. "Yugi, it's only a film."

"But they killed her!" A wail.

"No they didn't. She's only a cartoon character, not a living thing."

"You're just heartless!"

"Yugi." Ryou's tone was lightly scolding.

The other teen sniffed and rubbed his tears away on the cushion. "I'm sorry Ryou."

The albino shrugged. "It's okay. Why don't you come over here?"

Yugi nodded, and went over and curled up beside Ryou on the sofa. He snuggled his head on the albino's shoulder. "Poor Bambi."

* * *

Malik wandered over to his hikari. "Marik…"

"Yeah?"

"Why did Yugi and Ryou lock us up in here?"

Bakura entered the conversation. "Because they're assholes."

Malik frowned. "I thought no-one was allowed to insult Ryou on pain of death?"

"No-one except _me." _

"Riiight."

Yami rolled his eyes. Here was Bakura with his _'I'm almighty Bakura' _speech. Next he'd start on the _'I'm invincible.' _bit.

Bakura spoke. "It's true. I, and only I, am allowed to insult Ryou. Any that defy that shall face the wrath of the almighty Bakura!"

_Here we go. _

"I can go anywhere, be anyone, steal anything-"

"Except Yami's puzzle." Malik added.

Bakura glared. Malik cringed. The albino cleared his throat. "As I was saying…I am invincible! I cannot die! I destroy all who stand in my way-"

"Except Yami."

Bakura growled. Malik discreetly moved so he was behind his hikari. Bakura continued. "Cross me and you shall feel my wrath! Beware of me, for I am powerful!"

Marik groaned. "We _know. _You already _said."_

* * *

"Isn't Thumper just so adorable?"

Ryou shook his head. "Flower's so much cuter."

Yugi shook _his _head. "Flower's a _skunk. _How's _that _cute? Thumper's an adorable fluffy rabbit. Now _that's_ cute."

"Rabbits are vicious, nasty things!"

"Skunks are stinky!"

"They can't help that!"

"Maybe, maybe not. They _still _smell though!"

"Rabbits smell too!"

"Not as badly as skunks!"

"Baby skunks don't smell that bad!"

"Nor do baby rabbits!"

"Flower's _still _the cutest."

"No, Thumper is!"

The two friends _glared _at each other.

* * *

The three finally stopped arguing after what seemed hours later – but was in fact only fifteen minutes. They looked around to see how Yami had taken their _discussion._

He was asleep. Yes, asleep. Not feigningsleepbecausesomeone'shavingaveryinterestingconversationandyouwanttolistenin sleep, real, true, Iamabsoulutelyshatteredanddeadonmyfeet sleep. Yami lay curled up on the sofa, his knees almost up to his chin, his head resting on one arm and the other hand lay clenched beside it. His golden bangs fell softly over is face and moved gently with the small breeze that was his rising and falling breath. The pharaoh was sound asleep.

Bakura, Malik and Marik stared.

Then, unnecessarily, Malik said, "He's asleep."

"Duh." Bakura wasn't impressed with the statement.

Marik grinned. "Doesn't he look sweet?"

"They all do when they're asleep." Marik sounded knowledgeable. "It's when their hidden, inner natures show."

Bakura looked sceptical. Marik shook his head and whispered to the albino. "This is his sugar build up. First signs are severe cases of sanity." Malik pouted so his hikari hastened to comfort him. "But he is right. Inner sides do show while you sleep. For example, Yami is showing his docile side, the true meekness, the gentleness within himself."

Malik nodded. "You don't really see that when he's awake. He's too busy trying to refrain from killing us."

Marik continued. "He's showing his inner desire for solitude, for oneness, for calm with himself."

His yami butted in again. "He's trying to win again."

"Yami is showing the true peacemaker that he really is."

"Yeah, he kicks your ass in a game, then apologises for being brilliant."

"Atemu's inner child is visible."

"He's a spoilt brat."

"The sheer trustful-"

Marik was cut off, Bakura had butted in. "Marik?"

"Yeah?"

"Shutup."

* * *

"Stupid."

Ryou stuck his tongue out. "Baby."

Yugi scowled. "Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not!"

Ryou looked patronising. "Then why're you yelling like one?"

Yugi pouted. "You're antagonising me. I'll tell Yami on you."

"I'll tell Bakura on _you." _

The two teens glared at one another again.

Yugi spoke first. "Yami could kick Bakura's butt anyday."

"No he couldn't."

"Yes he could."

"No he couldn't."

"Yes he could."

"No he couldn't."

"Yes he could."

"No he couldn't."

"Yes he could."

"No he couldn't."

"Yes he could."

"No he couldn't!"

"Could."

"Couldn't!"

"Could."

"Couldn't!"

"Could."

"Couldn't!"

"Could."

"Couldn't!"

"Could."

"Couldn't!"

"Could."

"Couldn't!"

"Could."

"Bakura could beat Yami!"

"Then why doesn't he?" Yugi sounded smug.

"He doesn't want to embarrass you."

"Liar."

"I'm not!"

"You are."

"I'm not!"

"Bakura will _never _beat my yami. End of story."

"He will!"

"Won't."

"Will."

"Won't."

"Will."

"Won't."

"Will."

"Won't."

"Will."

"Won't."

"Will."

"Won't."

Both hikaris were scowling.

Ryou sighed all of a sudden. "Let's just agree to differ, we're missing the film."

"Fine." But Yugi was still sulking…

* * *

"I still think he looks sweet." Marik said, glancing at the still quietly slumbering pharaoh.

"So?" His yami was bored.

"It's not something that you see that often."

An idea struck Malik. "So, let's go _play_ with him!"

"No!" Bakura cried out. Malik and Marik turned to stare at him.

Malik looked confused. "No? Why not?"

Bakura looked at Yami, then looked back at the other two. "Because I said no. Let him be."

Marik closely scrutinised the albino's face. Bakura felt himself go pink under the examination. "What?"

Marik smirked. "You like him."

"I don't!"

"Do."

"Don't."

"Do."

"Don't."

"Do."

"Don't."

"Do."

"Don't."

"Do."

"Don't."

"Do."

"Don't."

"Do."

"Don't."

"Do."

"Don't."

"Do."

"Don't."

"Do."

"Don't."

"Do."

"Don't!"

"Don't."

"Do!... _Hey! _That's not fair!"

* * *

Yugi wasn't concentrating on the film, Ryou could see that. Their argument before must have upset him. The albino sighed softly. "I'm sorry Yugi."

His friend gave him a wobbly smile. "Me too."

Ryou opened his arms and the smaller teen snuggled up happily. They watched the film quietly.

* * *

Marik sighed. Bakura was sulking in the corner and Malik was busy playing hide and seek with a rubber. Yami was _still _asleep. The Egyptian ran his hand through his floppy silver hair absentmindedly. It was unlike Atemu to fall asleep during the day… what was up?

Yami moaned softly in his sleep and turned over. His back was now towards Marik. The hikari frowned, and then smiled. It was time to give the pharaoh his wake up call…

* * *

Malik grinned. Bakura was too busy sulking to have noticed what he and Marik were up to. Malik counted down under his breath. "Three… Two… One… GO!"

The two Egyptians jumped onto the sofa and gave Atemu a very _rude _awakening.

Yami snapped wide awake instantly, to find the two Egyptians sitting on his stomach. The yami pushed the two off him, and pinned Marik's arms to his sides. He smiled sweetly at the hikari, his eyes thunderous. "Any last words?"

Marik gulped. "Yes…"

"_What!" _Yami growled.

"999,999,999,999,999,999 green bottles, sitting on the wall.

999,999,999,999,999,999 green bottles, sitting on the wall.

And if one of those green bottles should accidentally fall,

There'll be 999,999,999,999,999,998 green bottles sitting on the wall.

999,999,999,999,999,998 green bottle sit-"

If anyone outside of the room had been listening, they would have heard loud shrieks and yelling after this. As no-one _was _outside the room, nobody cared.

* * *

Ryou buried his nose in Yugi's hair. It was really soft and smelt faintly of cinnamon. "Mmm." He mumbled.

Yugi looked up at him because of the noise. "What?"

Ryou blushed. "Your hair smells nice."

Yugi turned pink. "Oh. I-err- do you want some candy floss?"

"Sure, why not?"

Yugi hopped out of Ryou's arms, grabbed the pink sugary bag from the side cupboard, and settled himself back down on the albino's lap. The amethyst-eyed teen opened the bag and ate a little of the sugar. He mmmed as it melted on his tongue, and reached down for some more.

Ryou laughed at his friend's face.

"What?"

"Your face."

Yugi flushed pink again. "Well, it's nice!" He protested.

Ryou smiled. "I never said it wasn't." He ate some of the floss.

* * *

Marik idly tossed a coin up in the air and caught it again.

The light reflecting off the coin's shiny surface attracted Yami's attention. "What's that?"

"A coin."

"I know _that." _

"Then why did you ask?"

"Because-because- because I don't know, alright?" The pharaoh snapped.

Marik shrugged. "Whatever." He tossed the coin up again, and caught it.

Bakura was watching the little interlude, bored. "It's his lucky coin." He told Yami.

"Why's it lucky?"

"First thing he ever stole." This was said by Malik.

Marik just shrugged… and caught the coin again.

Bakura flicked his hair over his shoulder. "Marik, stop it. It's beginning to get on my nerves."

Another shrug. "So?" Another catch of the coin.

"Marik!" Bakura snapped.

The snap startled Marik, and he dropped the coin. It rolled underneath the sofa. "Damn."

Yami sighed. "I'll get it."

The hikari frowned. "I'm getting it too. It's _my _coin." He stood up, and stepped on something. "Hey, what's this?" Marik bent down and picked up a bag of candy floss. "Where did this come from?"

"Oh that." Bakura was back to being bored again. "You had hold of it when you came through the wall. We assumed it was yours."

Marik shook his head. "Nope, not ours." He chucked the bag at Bakura. "Hold it a minute."

The albino caught it deftly. "'Kay."

Yami missed the bag's passing, as he was already hunting for the coin.

* * *

Yugi giggled.

"What?"

"You've got candy floss on your nose."

Ryou turned pink. "It's not uncommon."

Yugi was still laughing. "It just looks so… so _weird." _

Ryou mock pouted. He reached forwards and picked up a little of the pink sugar and placed it on Yugi's nose. "There, now we're equal."

The other duelist smiled up at him… then kissed him on the nose, effectively taking the candy floss off it at the same time.

Ryou wrinkled his nose up in surprise. "Hey! No fair!"

Yugi looked quizzical. "What?"

Ryou grinned… and kissed the candy floss off Yugi's nose. He smiled at the other's face. "Just so we're the same." He explained.

* * *

Yami groaned. "Why, oh Ra, _why_, did you leave the candy floss unattended?" He said to Marik.

The light gulped at what the other two yamis were doing. "It was barely five minutes!"

"And by my reckoning, they didn't even need _that." _

Malik and Bakura were going mad. The tomb-robber appeared to think he was some kind of rock star – he was busy playing on an air guitar and singing the chorus of _Delilah _– and Malik was having fun playing catch with a marble paperweight.

Yami sighed. "You sort out Malik; I'll try and get the tomb-robber to Shutup. I've had enough of his singing for one day."

Bakura finished his song and restarted it. "_Dum-de-de, Dum-de-de, Dum-de-de, Dum-de-de-dum-dum…" _(He didn't know the first few lines.)

"Bakura?" The pharaoh waved his hand in front of the albino's face. "Hello? Anyone in there?"

Bakura ignored him. "_Sheeeee stooooooood there laughing. Ha-ha-haaaaaaaaaaaaa. I felt the knife in my hand, and she laughed no moooooore." _

"BAKURA!"

But the albino was off into the chorus. "_Why, why, WHHHYYY Delilaaah? (Do-de-do-de-do-de-dooo) Oh, my, my, MYYYYYYY Delilaaaaah-" _

Over the singing Yami could vaguely hear Marik talking to Malik. ("Malik, honey, juggling with paperweights isn't good for your health.")

Yami snapped his attention back to the albino. He was now straddling the back of the sofa with his knees, still playing his imaginary guitar. "Bakura! Come down!"

_"Sooo, befooooore, theey coooooooooome to break down the dooooooooooor, forgive me Delilah I just couldn't take any moooore……….. forgive me Delilah I just couldn't take any MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOREEEEE!" _The tomb-robber flung his arms up in the air, overbalanced because of his position, and promptly fell over the back of the sofa. A loud bump and an 'ow' sounded.

Barely seconds later, a loud thud echoed. Marik sounded smug. "See Malik? I _told_ you paperweights hurt." Yami turned around just in time to see Malik hit the floor. The pharaoh stared at the hikari. Marik shrugged. "What can I say? We've had past experience."

* * *

Bakura came to, to find Yami leaning over him. "Are you okay?"

The albino groaned. "Do I look okay?"

"Yes, but that's why I'm asking. You look alright… but falling off the back of a sofa _has_ to have _some _effect."

"It did. It effectively left me feeling like I've been dragged through a hedge backwards, and then processed through a meat grinder."

Yami smiled. "Just as long as you're being positive."

Bakura sat up and put his head in his hands. "I _am _being positive. I'm positive I feel like crap."

"Perfectly normal then."

Bakura looked suspiciously at the pharaoh. "Why do I get the feeling you're teasing me?"

"Because I usually am." Yami extended a hand down. "Do you want a hand up?"

Bakura arched an eyebrow. "I may feel like crap… but that doesn't mean I'm accepting help from _you. _I haven't stooped _that _low."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning that the day we get along is the day the world ends and fireballs rain from the sky."

* * *

Marik was shaking his yami. "Malik! Malik! _Malik! _Wake up." There was no response, he was out cold. "Oh, I give up."

Yami looked at the Egyptian curiously. "Why?"

Marik smiled ruefully. "He's done this sort of thing five times before, after a while a pattern develops."

Bakura spoke. "What, you mean like Yugi and his whining?"

Yami spun at him. "Yugi doesn't whine!"

"He does!"

"No he doesn't! Apologise!"

"No."

"Apologise."

"No." Bakura was defiant.

"Fine." Yami made as if he was about to leave, then, at the last possible moment, tackled Bakura to the ground. The pharaoh was now calmly sitting astride the albino and had Bakura's arms pulled up above his head so he couldn't get free. "Now will you apologise?"

Bakura wriggled. "Get off!"

"No."

Bakura fought, twisted and turned, but to no avail. Yami was still sitting on him. "Ya-mi! Get off!"

"No."

The albino cast his eyes pleadingly to where the room's two other occupants were, but was ignored. Marik had gone back to trying to get his unconscious yami- with a lovely purple egg-shaped lump on his forehead- to wake up. Bakura growled. "Get. Off. Me. _NOW!" _

"No. I'm not getting off until you apologise."

"I'm not apologising to you!"

"In that case, I'm not getting off."

Malik suddenly gave a loud groan and blearily opened his eyes. He saw Marik. "I can see the light."

His hikari promptly turned and left him, not impressed. The Egyptian spotted Bakura and Yami. "Hey, when did you two get so close?"

Bakura immediately flushed a deep red. "We're _not _close."

"Doesn't look that way to me."

"Marik! We were having an argument and _he_ tackled me, and now he won't get off!"

"Okaay… it's just that you don't seem to be too bothered by it."

Bakura struggled in Yami's grip. "Marik!" His whole face was ablaze with red.

"Mmm-hmm?"

"Are you going to help, or just stand there?"

"Just stand here."

"_Marik!"_

"Well of course I'm not going to help. I believe in letting lovers sort out their own differences between themselves."

"We're _NOT _lovers!" Even Yami was beginning to turn pink.

"As I said before, it doesn't look that way to me."

"He's not my lover!" Yami insisted.

"So you're his?"

"_NO!"_ Both yamis yelled.

"Okay." Marik walked over and sat on the sofa, out of sight. "If you say so."

Bakura and Yami were left, both extremely red.

The tomb-robber glared at Yami. "None of this would've happened if you weren't sitting on me."

Yami smirked. "I wouldn't be sitting on you if you'd apologised already."

Bakura tried another bout of wriggling. "I get your point… now _get OFF!" _

Yami's face suddenly seemed larger than it had before, and it was getting larger… and closer…

Bakura let out a squeak. "Ya-mi…" The pharaoh's face was now inches from Bakura's own, and one of Atemu's golden bangs was tickling the albino's cheek. Bakura went shock still. "Wha?"

Yami whispered quietly into Bakura's ear, his warm breath sending shivers down the albino's spine. "I'm not getting off until you apologise." Bakura gulped.

Malik staggered to his feet. He noticed the two other yamis, then looked at his hikari for an explanation.

Marik supplied it. "Make out session."

Yami and Bakura glared. "Marik!"

The light shrugged his shoulders. "I tell the truth how I see it."

Malik grinned happily. "Cool! Can I join in?"

Bakura groaned, and let his head fall back and hit the floor with a soft thud. He sighed. "Fine, I apologise. Now _get OFF!" _

Yami smirked, released his hold on Bakura's arms, and slid off. "See? That wasn't so bad, was it?"

Bakura growled, rubbing his wrists. Malik pouted. "But I wanted to join in!" He flopped beside his hikari on the sofa. "That was no fun!"

Marik smiled and kissed him on the nose. A strange glint entered Malik's eyes. Bakura and Yami spotted it.

The albino sighed. "We'd best set up camp behind the sofa. Those two could be at it for hours."

Atemu nodded, agreeing, and lay down on the floor using his arms for a pillow. "Might as well take a nap then." He closed his eyes and, barely minutes later, fell sound asleep.

Bakura stared. The pharaoh really must be tired to sleep this much. A load moan came from the other side of the sofa. Bakura grimaced. He _really _didn't want to hear that. The only way to escape it though was to… well, sleep. The albino looked at Yami again. _Well, if you can't beat 'em, join them. _Bakura lay down beside the quietly slumbering Atemu, and gradually drifted of to sleep.

* * *

The film was forgotten. Yugi and Ryou were… a little_ busy_… with _other _things.

* * *

Marik pulled his shirt back on and began to rebutton it. "You're a pest, you know that?" he said to his yami.

Malik grinned. "And proud of it."

Marik shook his head. A thought struck him. "Hey, what happened to Bakura and Atemu?"

"I think they went _behind_ the sofa."

"Behind?" Marik lent over the back of the seat. He stared at what he saw. "Uh, Malik?"

"Mmm?"

"Come look at this."

Malik joined his light in looking curiously over the sofa's back. "I don't suppose you've got a camera?"

"Nope."

"Pity." Both Egyptians grinned.

Bakura and Yami were both sleeping quietly. What the two 'halves' found amusing though, was the thought of what the two kings would say if they could see _how_ they were sleeping. To put it quite simply, Bakura and Yami were _entwined._ Atemu's face was buried in Bakura's chest and one of his hands had wrapped itself in the albino's hair. The other hand lay curled over where Bakura's heart beat under his skin. The tomb-robber, on the other hand, had buried _his_ face in Yami's hair and he had his arms wrapped possessively around the pharaoh's waist.

Marik looked at them contemplatively. "They make a cute couple."

Malik grinned. "I predict fireworks."

Marik smiled. "What? Only fireworks? I think we'd better prepare for World War Three."

* * *

Shadow: Phew. I'm finished. God only knows how I'm going to get them out of the room… next chappie might be the last… or the second last… or something…

Marik: Aaw…

Shadow: (Nods.) I know. We'll have to say goodbye… and I'll have to send you back to Jade Cade.

Marik: (Sniffs)

Shadow: (Pats on head.) But you've been a very good boy.

Marik: (Smiles.)

Shadow: So good in fact, you've given me an idea for a sequel…


End file.
